Cute photo from a shoot I did with Amy Bexxx in NYC, who’s ready for a ride? ;)
James Darling photo by Isabel Dresler
Anonymous asked: I believe you said once that you're mostly (though not at all exclusively) attracted to cis girls? If this is correctly, I'm curious, growing up did you identify as a lesbian at all, or did your gender identity form firmly enough that you've always just viewed yourself as a straight man? (Or more specifically as a bisexual closer to the straight end of the spectrum)
No, I wouldn’t have said cis girls. There was a time in my life when I was mostly attracted to women, but even when I was 16 that included trans women. I identified as an androgynous dyke as a teenager. There wasn’t really language or people around me for me to know being a trans guy was a possibility until I dated a trans woman who brought up the concept of trans men to me. Even then it took me a while to feel comfortable identifying as male, since most examples of maleness and masculinity in my life at the time were not things I wanted to emulate or aspire to be. I always had a sense of not fitting into what was expected of me as a child, gender or otherwise I was pretty weird. While I hated dresses and dolls, I wasn’t very masculine or one of those trans kids that asserted being a boy. I usually picked identifying as an animal over being a mom or a dad when playing house.
As I gained more confidence and clarity I realized that I felt the most whole moving through the world seen as a man and eventually decided that hormones and surgery were things that would help me achieve a body I could live with. I don’t consider myself straight, but when I am dating a woman I try to acknowledge the huge privileges that come with being perceived as straight and cis when I’m in public spaces. It’s a really strange thing to navigate, especially when I also date men and am typically perceived as gay by strangers. I’m attracted to a wide variety of gender presentations and bodies, but find I’m most often attracted to femininity, whether those are femme men or women or otherwise.
Anonymous asked: You seem like you're pretty comfortable with your body, do you ever wear a packer?
I love my body! I’m a lot happier with it now than I was before I transitioned. Sometimes I still get insecure about stuff just like everyone else. My body isn’t perfect but its mine and I’ve learned to love the vessel of flesh I travel around on in this lifetime and in general am pretty stoked on it. I used to wear packers when I first came out, but as I gained confidence and passing privilege I found them unnecessary and cumbersome, so I don’t use one anymore. Honestly no one really notices my lack of a bulge or is at least not rude enough to comment on it, and the only time it has come up has been when I’ve gotten cruised in a bar and someone shoves their hand down my pants. Day to day it hasn’t been an issue for me, even at the gym. I think packers are great when you’re still trying to figure out what makes you feel at home in your own body and can be a great confidence booster, so do whatever makes you feel the best!